Saturday, September 22, 2012

Seeing Past the Fog

Woke up the other morning to go to work with my carpool. We head out at our usual time of 6am only to turn around back to our villas.  FOG.  Nothing but fog once we reached the first round about. The sand dunes, camels and road signs are only visible 6feet in front of you, to your left and to your right. Cars are seen a few seconds ahead which makes it dangerous for driving.  The fog plays tricks on your eyes the longer you drive in it.  You begin to see phantom cars when there is none;or is there?  At first we debated whether we should try to creep to work at a snails pace and decided to turn around. Our teaching jobs are important but our lives are worth more.   We realized that we just have to wait it out.  Wait until visibility was better or completely clear.   I have to remember to do that when it comes to my marriage and my life.  I struggle seeing past the fog of what is, was or what could have been.  I have to remember that's why I'm here in Abu Dhabi in the first place.  An unexpected cloud of fog has engulfed my life when my husband walked out the door and now I can't see clearly.  I have to remind myself that its okay to wait it out. Its okay to give myself time until my road becomes clear before I move forward.  And I'm reminded of 2Peter 3verse 9 in the bible "The lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some may understand slowness.  He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance". I get it.  And I know me.  I sometimes move to quickly without thinking and that has its advantages but it can also be detrimental to me in the long run if I'm not careful. Sometimes I just want things to be fixed right away. I want to see what's on the other side of the fog before it clears.  I just want to get where I'm suppose to be already!! I want all these horrible feelings of sadness to go away. I know there's something great I'm being prepared for in my life but does it have to take so long?  I know, I hasn't been that long but it feels like torture. Huh...I just have to stop, pray, listen and look for the signs.

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