Saturday, October 20, 2012

F**K You!

Sunrise over Abu Dhabi City

L=Letting go
I=Inward, Illusions
M=Me, Myself
Yes it means what you think.  The two asterisk in the above title is not replacing letters that are intended to spell FORK.  Yes, it is F**K you! Yeah I said it! For all my fellow Christians out there, I apologize but this is what I'm thinking and shouting off the top of my lungs.  You know you've been there before and some times as, unchristian as it may sound, F**K YOU are the only words that fit! I just had it!  I can't take it anymore and I'm angry as hell!  I was just thinking again about my lawyers calling me about a week and a half ago saying the divorce papers were signed and I'm just pissed! All the nights I spent, even to this day thinking about him, calling him, and treating him with respect, being truthful and devoted.  This is the thanks I get!?  He's on my mind constantly and I'm thinking "What the F**K!"  He never called during our split.  If  we spoke it was because I called him and then he never had anything much to say.  Hell, he sometimes ignored my phone calls and responded a month later! His family and friends that I loved dearly don't even call.  My husband didn't even try to work out any issues and he didn't even have the guts to file the divorce papers himself!!  I did it because he, apparently doesn't respect me like I thought he did.  You owe me at least a clean break without stringing me along, right!?  Why the hell is he always on my mind when obviously he's not and haven't been thinking about me for, I guess throughout the last two years of our marriage.  I can't believe this!  It's so unfair!  And to that I say F**K YOU!   F**K YOU for breaking your vows.  F**K YOU for making me feel like S**T when I wanted to spend time with you. F**K YOU for not introducing me to certain rich people because you were ashamed of me.  Just, F**K YOU!  There...I got it all out.  After all this time I've been longing for us to get back together and now, I'm just so angry at him. And still he's on my mind. And he's probably not giving me a second thought.  Huh...he can't win. He can't win by taking over my thoughts every day.  I have to win by moving forward and letting go, taking care of me and reaching my goals, dreams and aspirations.  This to me is like seeing the sun rise behind you through your side view mirrors.  There were some really great memories that we had together and I can still see them through my side view mirrors as I move forward.  But soon the sun will be in front of me instead of behind me.  And it will be just as bright and beautiful.  So I will keep moving forward. It's all about ME now. And on that note I say...F**K YOU!!

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